Perhaps man’s greatest achievement is making the world seem less hellacious than it really is.
– Vincent Fink
It’s been a big year of change for the world, a tumultuous holiday, and a Merry Stressmas for the Finks as well. We dealt with a lot as we moved into my parent’s old house. During that process my father, Vincent J. Fink II passed on. We loved him immensely and I’m still dealing with the pain. As if that wasn’t enough, I also lost my closest Houston artist friend, Michel H. Draper in the same day. It’s been challenging to say the least, but I’m slowly gaining my wits about me again.
I took this time away from artwork and the world to reflect on where I am in life and if I feel like I can do anything better.
To be the best man I can be, like my father.
It’s hard to live up to someone who was so good at everything that was important. He was my hero. He lived a life fulfilled too. He had everything that was important to him as well as a relatively quick death instead of slowly fading. He saw that happen with his mother and vowed to not go the same way. He was ready.
Losing him and my friend forces me to understand how brief this life really is and how fast death can happen. It’s the brevity of life that gives me the urgency to seize the day. You never know when your time is up so you better make each moment count.
I have always contemplated about what happens next… if there is an afterlife and if so what is it like? This is the greatest mystery of our entire existence. At least the dead know what is beyond. No more wondering for them. Most importantly, no more pain. They leave that with us.
“The first law of thermodynamics, Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. For example, turning on a light would seem to produce energy; however, it is electrical energy that is converted.”
So what does life energy get converted into when a being dies?
I like to think the energetic essence of what makes each of us individuals must convert into something else. At least all the information we gather in life is uploaded into a collective consciousness, referred to as the Akashic Records, for future generations to build upon. Maybe you wake up out of the simulation and see the real world. The soul carries on. It becomes a portrait in an ever-growing work of art, or concept album by a really good prog-rock band called G.O.D. (stands for Global Overhaul Device? Your guess is as good as mine).
The human brain could be more like an antenna receiving a signal from another dimension.
The brain interprets vibrations into our perceived reality, thoughts and actions much like a radio interprets vibrational transmissions into a signal we can tune into. When we die, that doesn’t mean the radio station stopped the broadcast, it just means the radio receiver is tuned out, perhaps to another frequency. One thing is certain: Now and forever, each and every one of us lives on as the vibrations we sent out into space-time. We are the electricity that runs the brain and we move at light speed towards the next destination. Perhaps as George Carlin put it, we all go, “to the great electron. *Wooaaam* *Wooaaam* ” imitating the noise of a giant pulsating orb of light.
One thing we certainly leave behind is our legacy. I’m sitting in part of my father’s legacy as I’m writing this on his desk. He left this house of integrity that I now live in which grants me some financial freedom from rent. I intend to use this gift to do even bigger, better things than ever before. My mission in life has always been to help heal the world with inspiring work. To raise the vibration of the planet and maybe help spread a little knowledge along the way. I gave my life to this purpose many years ago. In place of comfort and stability I chose to pursue an entrepreneurial art career.
Last year I made more money doing art than I did at my last employment. It took more than 5 years of struggle to get here but… here I am and I won’t stop till I’m dead.
In spite of all the success going on in my life, it’s become hard for me to be happy about anything lately so pray for me, or meditate, if your into that sort of thing. I meditate on happiness and healing. I pray for a breakthrough of some sort. Something that can make me feel like I will someday die fulfilled as well. Did my friend Michel Draper die tormented by a cruel world that didn’t appreciate his contributions? I hope not, cause one thing was clear after his passing was the effect he had on hundreds of people, especially locally. It still burns a hole in my heart to not have him around as well.
Very deep. Man. Awesome. I feel you. Hey – I need another “FINK” in my house … – preferable sun-sets. I am a sucker for those – ye’know. Hope to see you soon … I have my feelers stretched toward Austin / Lake Travis …
Oh boy, that sounds like a great place to go if you feel like a change of scenery. I hope if you’re thinking of moving you do get a chance to stop by the studio at least once again before you go. Thank you for always supporting me Olaf, it means a lot. We’ll talk soon about another sunset… I haven’t done one in a while, which means I’m probably due.
Great reflection and contemplation about the nature of life and the human condition from a macrocosmic perspective. I often feel as if my writings come through me rather than from me, so I identify with the antenna analogy.
It is often said that a boy does not become a man until he loses his father. In many ways, I understand this after the sudden death of father several years ago. I think you may understand that as well. I am sympathetic to your losses, I appreciate the gifts you share with us, and I look forward to your continuing growth.
I do believe these lives we live are journeys in a human vessel. I find peace in knowing Vincent & Michel are on to the next destination where I like to hope and believe it’s a much calmer place and one experiences ease for the mind and soul.
Your persistence and relentlessness is far greater than anyone I know. Because of that I have no doubt that your gargantuan art attack will be gargantuan.
This is powerful stuff. I’ve been thinking about the afterlife as well since I lost my last two grandparents in the last 6 months. Both grandparents were s influential. My grandmother had 11 kids and built an amazing family, and was a loving grandmother to nearly 30 grandchildren. My grandfather, on my dad’s side, had 7 kids and was a Navy Chaplain. It’s nice to hear your thoughts on the matter. I love different perspectives, and yours is just that. I agree that the soul lives on, in the very least, through the memories and stories we tell of such impactful men and women. Thanks for your write up, Vince. Keep up the good work!
I miss Michel
I have some good memories of your dad. I remember him trying to explain some mathematical concepts to me (and he was able to help even my math challenged brain). I also remember talking to him about music. He had an extensive knowledge on classic rock and it was through his record collection that I discovered the Beatles. Also, he was an avid reader and I could talk to him for hours about books and authors. His sense of humor was par excellence (just like my dad too) and having a good sense of humor is one of the most important personality traits in my opinion. Thus, I hold your dad in a high regard. And there was also the times he drove us to concerts like Megadeth at the International Ballroom way back in the day. What was that? 1998 I think. He was one hell of a cool person, I will dearly miss him too. I understand what it’s like to lose a father you love very much. I can say that the pain and loss never gets any less. 5 years pass and you can’t believe it, 10 years, 20 years and it all seems so unreal. Just as the day it happened. But what keeps you ok inside is the knowledge that at least you had the time you did have together and the only thing worse than losing this person would be to never have known them at all. So if the cost of knowing and loving someone so much is to eventually lose them, it’s a fair deal. That is what makes me feel good about the memories and the life of my dad. We had so many good times together and I will never lose that. That thought gives me strength and happiness not to dwell on the grief. I hope this helps you in your grief. Much love to you and your family. Let’s get together soon and reminisce all those good times over a beer or two! 😀
Thank you Andrew for taking the time to write your thoughts here. This was very helpful to me to read your experience with dealing with losing your father. I unfortunately never got to know your father, other than a simple hello when entering his house, but despite that and his early departure he did really well with you and your family. You have always been the one friend I know who has a balance of these same features I found in my dad; humor, intellect, music taste, character, and control. I feel like I’m always going to be trying to live up to my father’s greatness and will be forevermore a bit more nihilistic but I will do my best to find that strength and happiness. I do hope we get to hang out more in the near future. Good friends like you are 1 in 7 billion. Take care.